Mon Nov 9, 2009 5:44pm EST
SAN FRANCISCO, Nov 9 (Roosters) - Rambus Inc shares rose 9 percent on Monday after a Buddhist monk, Jyon Danfu, shared a dream he had after an especially long night of rambunctious chanting and 2nd hand incense smoke inhalation, predicting that the microchip designer would reach a legal settlement with a company that sounded like “Mycrumb” or” Mycon” or perhaps ”Micron” Technology Inc.
The dream found its way to www.investorvillage.com where longsuffering investors couldn’t help but notice the similarities to Jyon Danfu’s name and the name of Rambus' former general counsel, John Danforth, who has recently made similar predictions regarding settlements with Micron. Unfortunately, the authenticity of Jyon Danfu’s status as a monk and whether Mr. Danforth is who he claims is could not be verified by our reporter who was also working undercover in an opium house in the Wushi providence. Danforth resigned from the company in October 2007. With his newfound internet fame as the “incense insider” and his monthly stock picking service, Jyon Danfu is considering denouncing his life as a monk and moving to the mountains of Boise Idaho.
"It's the only reason we can see for the stock's movement," said Keystone Investments analyst Jeff Shrapnel, adding the stock is frequently pushed as much as 10 percent in a day by rumors of buyouts, hostile alien takeovers and images of mushroom clouds over Boise that frequently and miraculously appear on Steve Appleton’s morning toast.
Jyon Danfu’s 90 minute dream included a 5 minute intermission act depicting men from various DRAM manufacturing companies wearing black and white stripped business suits with numbers on them being pecked relentlessly by a large angry rooster. In addition to the dream, Danfu claims to have eaten three fortune cookies recently that all made references to the significance of January 11, 2010 and feels that some cataclysmic event will either start or be narrowly avoided on this date.
Due to the impact of the dream, Jyon Danfu is recommending investors buy Rambus and consider investing in his leveraged “10X ultra bear cartel impending doom” fund that shorts Samsung, Hynix, and Micron and uses a highly leveraged strategy to provide maximum returns with almost no risk.
Rambus declined to comment on the Danfu fund, the dream and the posts made by the man who claims to be John Danforth, but the smile on Harold Hughes’ face leaves little room for doubt on his excitement over the events of the next few months.
